Love

So I have this boyfriend, Chase, and we've been together for 9 months, nearly 10, which is such a long time for me and the longest relationship I've ever had. He's brilliant - he's lovely and charming and one of the nicest people I know. He brings out the best in me and always calms me down and I feel really lucky to have met him. I love him.
I never believed in love. I thought it was nothing more than fairy tales and made-up stories because if love was real, then why doesn't it last forever? It was when my parents split up I started questioning everything, was love just something made up for greeting card companies and to sell films? I just couldn't understand one bit how if love was this amazing, incredible, fantastic thing why was it not permanent? Why did it not last? Yet, I am 18 and I have been in love 1 and a half times.
The first time, or 'half' wasn't real. It was my first boyfriend and although I thought I loved him, it was nothing more than a playground crush. We shared crisps and kisses in the school corridors, his lips tasted of salt and vinegar and stung mine. He cheated on me and made me lose all faith in boys. He wasn't a nice person, but how could I leave him? I 'loved' him, right?
And now, there's Chase. Chase is always how I imagined everything to be. The way I know I love Chase, more than anyone, is that I'm staying in Leicester to go to University. My dream, and anyone who knows me will tell you, was to study and live in London, yet I found out it was too expensive so I settled for just getting as far away from home as possible - Leeds, Liverpool, Birmingham, Scotland, Northampton... Then Chase came along, so Scotland dropped out for Leicester, 'Just in case'. I thought it was perfect, Chase had applied for Leicester, Leeds and Birmingham too - I still had a chance to move away with him. Yet he didn't get into Birmingham, and the course he applied for at Leeds wasn't exactly what he wanted, which left him with.. Yes, you guessed it... Leicester.
Now, I could've just gone to Leeds or Birmingham - but, as I found out, I don't like long distance relationships, especially since by September we would've been together for well over a year. How could I leave all that just to get away from home? So here I am, with my DMU acceptance letter getting ready for 4 years in Leicester. But it's for Chase.
That's how I know I love him, because Leicester doesn't seem that bad if I'm with him - and everyone makes compromises in a relationship. But my life with Chase is pretty perfect, we spend our days in bed watching TV and cuddling and he's my best friend and he kisses my tears away, yet there's just one thing...
See, the problem with Chase is, not that it really is a problem, is that he doesn't express how he feels. So while I wear my heart on my sleeve, he doesn't say anything - that's just the type of person he is. He's too relaxed, in fact if he was any further laid-back he'd fall over, so he doesn't talk about stuff as much as I do.
Like I said, it's not a bad thing, and normally I don't notice it, let alone let it bother me, but this weekend... ughh, this weekend!
Let me explain something to you, I stop at Chases on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and then on Friday he comes to my house for the weekend. This is just what happens. So the only days I don't see him is... Thursday, really, this works for us - we've practically lived together since we started going out.
The past week he spent at his Nan's house meaning he didn't see his Mum all week, so he spent the weekend at her house. That's understandable, and let me make this clear - that's not what I'm ranting about here. So, I left his house on Wednesday morning as normally and on Thursday I didn't see him. Friday I start college at 11am and, because I've dropped a lesson, I finish at 1pm - Usually I hang around college and do some work until Chase finishes his lesson at 4 to get the bus back to mine for the weekend. But because Chase wasn't coming to mine at the weekend I just went home at 1.
This meant, when we're meant to see each other for 4 days, I barely saw him for a few hours. This really upset me (my Uncle died of a brain tumour just a few weeks a go and I'm still overly emotional about it) so I told him, I told him I missed him and all that. He was just like 'I know, I miss you too - still only 2 days now, I'm off to game!'
Sometimes I wished he was more like he was at the start of our relationship - He used to talk all the time about how he felt for me and how I made him feel, in quite some detail. Maybe it's comfort now, he doesn't need to reassure me he loves me, I already know. I know he misses me when I'm not there, so why does he have to tell me?
Sometimes I wish he still would.