Blow that for a game of soldiers

So yesterday I posted a blog saying about how well I'm coping with the anniversary of my Nan's death and how much I feel I've grown up since last year.

Then it struck me

Why was I coping so well with her death? Because I had purposely not given myself an opportunity to think about it. 

I woke up at 9am, went to college, worked through my break, worked through my lunch, came home and worked all night. At 1am I realised I had nothing to do, I was tired and I had to be up early the next day.

I felt myself hoping that Chase would go to sleep soon because I knew that as soon as I stopped working, as soon as I had a chance to think... I'd break down. So, at 2am, I was lying on my side, crying somewhat uncontrollably. I miss her. I really, really miss her. Before she died, I heard people say it'll hurt just as much in 10 years as it did the day they died, I never understood that, especially because "time heals all wounds"

But now I do, completely do. 

Thankfully, about 20 minutes in to my crying session, Chase rolled over, put his arm around me, pulled me really close to him, kissed the back of my neck and whispered in my ear; "It's okay to cry baby. I'm here to look after you. It's okay."

Sometimes, I love him so much I want to squeeze him. 

Collge Update:

4 weeks today left to do. Today, I recorded my music radio show, which'll be on Wiggle FM soon!  It went pretty well, considering I haven't really presented a radio show in over a year. So music radio's nearly finished, yayy.

I'm not going to dwell on college work too much, just... blahhhh.