Saturday, 20 June 2009

Coping

My grandads really not getting well, I really can't cope with this anymore, I can't go through it all again. I'm so scared.
Please just make sure he's okay, or take him quickly - I don't want to have to feel sick constantly with worry over this. It's just too much. It brings everything up that happened with my Nan and I really don't want to do this again. I just can't.

As if that wasn't enough, I'm not getting the ucas points I need - there's no way I'm gonna manage to get the scholarship. I feel like such a failiure. I should've known from the start I wasn't capable of it - I'm just too stupid, too dumb to understand and to get it. I feel like a complete fuck up for thinking I could try.

I don't know what I want anymore. I feel empty, I feel sick from crying, I feel like I just want to crawl into bed and never come out again. I miss Chase, I want him home. I just need someone right now. Anyone. Please just look after me.

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