1) I haven't had anything interesting to say or get off my chest
and, 2) I haven't had the time because of all my college work.
All my college work has to be in on Friday, more or less, and eek...
I am so not getting the grades I need for 320 ucas points and that scares me so much. It upsets me too, if I'm not capable of doing it then, am I capable of going to university? Because if I can't hack this, if I'm only getting merits and passes then how can I cope with university? I'm not so sure anymore.
It's not that I don't want to go uni. I do, I'm terrified, but I want to go. I'm just not sure if I should anymore.
I'm getting passes in units I thought I was doing really well in, or at least okay in anyway. I just don't know anymore. I really don't.
Chase is going away for a week, he's going to Download festival until Monday afternoon. And that means, not seeing or speaking to him until Monday. I wish he wasn't going, or that he was going later on because I'm getting really panicky and my chest hurts and I'm sure I'm gonna have a really big panic attack sooner or later and I don't know what I'm going to do because he won't be here.
I know that might sound selfish and I am glad he's going because he gets to see his favourite band ever [faith no more] but I just neeeed him here right now and it's gonna suck so much without him.
I want to cry but I can't.
I have an entire unit to finish before tomorrow.
Fun, fun, fun.
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